I’ve been radio silent for a little bit. The reality of raising a now one year old (ahh!!!) and a 2.5 year old is a bit overwhelming and so rewarding. I have lots of things I’d like to post about and I’ll be working to get them up.
Today’s news is that I’ve done it. I’m officially only breastfeeding one kiddo. You may or may not realize that I have continued to nurse Big C this entire time. I don’t talk about it much, but maybe I should or at least should have. I am proud that I nursed him for 30 months. I think it has been an amazing, important, crazy journey. It has not always been easy, but I couldn’t imagine doing it any other way.
Over the course of the last 2 and a half years, I have become more and more passionate about breastfeeding. When we first had Big C, I didn’t necessarily have any thoughts about nursing except I knew it was best for his health and even better, it was free! I had no idea how long I would nurse, I just knew that I was going to start.
When Damien and I first talked about length, he mentioned that it seemed weird when kids could ask for milk by themselves. But the first time that our infant signed for milk was amazing! I looked at Damien and joked that “Alright, he’s done now,” and we both knew that was absurd. When I found out I was pregnant, I assumed that we would wean at some point near the end of the pregnancy, but our main man showed no interest in giving it up. After the little one arrived, nursing Big C was sometimes inconvenient, but it was a brief moment where I could focus on him and let him know we hadn’t forgotten about him. And now, as time has gone on it has been such a blessing to be able to comfort him in times of loneliness or pain or sadness. There have been many times that I thought, “What would I do right now if I couldn’t nurse him?”
But now, I feel the time is right. I prepped him for a few weeks that once it was Little C’s birthday, we would be done with milk. He has only been nursing once a day, if that, for months now and although he likes it, I just need this one thing off my plate. It’s officially been 10 days since I nursed him last and he actually asks me every day. It’s almost become a silly ritual. He giggles and laughs and asks, “I want some of your milk.” He has the most ridiculous sly/coy/manipulative faces that he tries to get me to give in. I can’t guarantee that I won’t. But I think I won’t. It has been such a small part of our world lately that I didn’t think I would care, but I definitely feel sad.
It’s interesting, the nursing relationship. It’s something I can’t really describe. And something you can’t possibly understand the intricacies of if you aren’t there yourself. It definitely isn’t all good. There have been many times where it has been a major source of frustration. But I do know that I couldn’t possibly imagine having stopped any earlier. And now my boy is officially that much more grown up.