Recently, I learned about The Orange Rhino. Please be sure to check out her blog, because it rocks!
I am a yeller. It’s hard to admit. I’m good at hiding it. It’s easy to rationalize. But it’s true and I don’t like the effect is has on me, the boys, or my hubby.
Having kids is the most rewarding thing on the planet, but also one of the most challenging. From a few weeks after Big C was born I have been struggling with some form of yelling. At the heart of it, yelling is a patience issue for me. At first it was just trying to get him to sleep or stop crying or not knowing what he needed. There were many times when I would break down and ask God for help. And I mean, the bawling my eyes out, frustrated to no end break down. There were a few times I yelled out loud to let out frustration and many more times when I yelled into a pillow or hit my pillow to relieve some tension. It’s painful to admit that a baby who you love more than anything you’ve ever loved before can bring you the deepest kinds of frustration and in ways you never thought possible.
As Big C has gotten older, the sources or reasons for wanting to yell have changed, but they have (until the Orange Rhino, that is) become a habit. It was becoming my typical response when I was at home. Adding the little one to mix only made things worse. I would have great spurts, but I didn’t even realize how prevalent yelling was becoming. After reading several posts from the Orange Rhino, I had to admit to myself that I am a yeller and it needs to change.
In the few weeks since I have been consciously working to not yell, I have seen some major improvements. Almost always, I yell because of something that I could change myself – not something the boys are doing. Big C has been responding so much better when I take a deep breathe and talk to him without yelling. I’m still firm. I still expect him to listen and follow directions. I’m still teaching him about respect, but I’m not yelling as much. Hopefully soon that will say I’m not yelling at all.
I would love for you to join me on this journey to yell less and love more.