This parenting thing is tough – tougher than anything else I’ve ever done.
I try not to complain too much on social media when the boys are crazy. I try because I know that I can so easily get in a complaining streak or focus only on the negative and that’s not healthy for me or fair to the boys because they are pretty amazing. But then I feel like I give off a “I’ve got this parenting thing down perfectly” vibe and that couldn’t be further from the truth.
I still have no idea what I’m doing. I am often frustrated or out of patience or annoyed or just plain out of energy. Too often I find myself wanting to check a mobile device instead of sit down and play with the boys. It’s all too easy for me to be irritated that they interrupt a game or a show. Sometimes I have NO idea what they want or need and I find myself angry or upset.
Just this past week I was frustrated to the point of tears. Not just sniffles, but full on tears streaming down my face. I was a mess and of course dad was out of town. I had to leave the room and let the little one cry because I couldn’t handle it. I had to do some serious praying for patience, because mine was gone before he cried for an hour in the middle of the night.
All of this to say I can’t do this parenting thing on my own. I don’t mean without Damien, but I mean without Christ. He truly is my rock. At times when I humanly don’t have anything left, He gives me strength. He stretches my patience and gives me rest exactly when I need it. I can no longer count the number of times that he has provided for me when I needed it most. He encourages me when I think I’m doing it all wrong. He shows me my strengths when I am exhausted.
Too often I forget to give God credit. I don’t know what my life would look like without him, but it wouldn’t be pretty. He has saved me time and time again.