A few weeks ago I found out that I have gestational diabetes. I’ve been super hesitant to tell anyone and it’s lame. I have been ashamed that somehow I failed this baby by having diabetes. Especially since so many of my friends are pregnant right now or were recently and none of them had it.
In my head I know that feeling ashamed is absurd, but it’s hard to get past. I have always really struggled with my body image and this seems to have fallen into the same category. It’s hard not to be jealous of my super skinny friends or the gorgeous, thin moms I know.
I’m proud of myself for how active I’ve been and how I’ve been working hard to be healthy. It was just kind of a tough blow to find out about the diabetes. It seems like a bigger deal when there’s an official name for something you’re struggling with.
Thankfully, with a well managed diet (which really hasn’t been too hard) there are very few risks to the baby or I. The biggest risk is that if my blood glucose goes unchecked it can lead to a big baby which could increase my risk for c-section. So as long as I eat well, we’re good to go. I’d say that’s a pretty easy thing to manage in order to keep us healthy!
I also have to admit that testing my blood sugar 4 times a day is fascinating. The geeky, science-y part of me is loving learning what different foods do to my glucose levels. Poking my finger doesn’t bother me at all, and when they tell you that white starchy flours like pasta or tortillas are worse than oatmeal, they aren’t kidding! My glucose levels are different by 20-30 points depending on what I eat. It’s pretty crazy.
All in all I am so thankful that for all of the things that could have happened, I have Gestational Diabetes. It’s easy to manage and there aren’t really any risks to the baby as long as I keep my blood sugar under control. I’d say that’s not bad at all.
I’m also glad that I shared. I feel a lot better after being honest about what’s going on. The people I have told are super supportive and I need that support. Thank you.