It’s Official!

So, it’s official. We are moving to Nashville! Damien will be Dave Ramsey’s newest IT guy.

In general, I really like change. I like trying new things. This type of change is a lot like a double edged sword, though.

We love AZ. We love our family and how close we are to them. We love the friendships we have made. We love the weather here. We love the wide open spaces and beautiful outdoor opportunities.

We are so excited about working (I’m using we, but obviously only Damien has a jobJ) for a company that not only helps people change their lives financially, but is leading people to know Christ. I shared before about how Financial Peace University changed our lives and I meant it. Taking control of our finances has given us a peace and a freedom that we’ve never had. Teaching FPU over the last 9 weeks was absolutely amazing. Encouraging ourselves to be ‘gazelle intense’ and helping our friends along the way has been awesome. Sometimes I joke that we joined the Dave cult, but his methods and his company have forever altered our lives for the better. And now we get to be a part of that!

God has blessed us in some pretty incredible ways and he has always provided for us (and Damien’s career). Over the years he has opened and closed different doors along the way and this is another one of those opportunities. He is giving us an amazing chance to do something we are passionate about.

This has not been an easy decision. It would be infinitely easier to stay here where we have friends and family and we are comfortable. I am crushed that we are going so far away from family. In the past few years I have developed some of my best friendships. It hurts to leave.

But I know that God has opened up this opportunity for us. I know that he has big plans in store for us. And new friends. And amazing technology like Skype. And things I can’t even guess at. Although I’m sad, I can trust in a God who is always faithful.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you, “declares the Lord,” plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Philippians 1:6

Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

Psalm 145:17

The Lord is righteous in all his ways and faithful in all he does.

Parenting is Tough

This parenting thing is tough – tougher than anything else I’ve ever done.

I try not to complain too much on social media when the boys are crazy. I try because I know that I can so easily get in a complaining streak or focus only on the negative and that’s not healthy for me or fair to the boys because they are pretty amazing. But then I feel like I give off a “I’ve got this parenting thing down perfectly” vibe and that couldn’t be further from the truth.

I still have no idea what I’m doing. I am often frustrated or out of patience or annoyed or just plain out of energy. Too often I find myself wanting to check a mobile device instead of sit down and play with the boys. It’s all too easy for me to be irritated that they interrupt a game or a show. Sometimes I have NO idea what they want or need and I find myself angry or upset.

Just this past week I was frustrated to the point of tears. Not just sniffles, but full on tears streaming down my face. I was a mess and of course dad was out of town. I had to leave the room and let the little one cry because I couldn’t handle it. I had to do some serious praying for patience, because mine was gone before he cried for an hour in the middle of the night.

All of this to say I can’t do this parenting thing on my own. I don’t mean without Damien, but I mean without Christ. He truly is my rock. At times when I humanly don’t have anything left, He gives me strength. He stretches my patience and gives me rest exactly when I need it. I can no longer count the number of times that he has provided for me when I needed it most. He encourages me when I think I’m doing it all wrong. He shows me my strengths when I am exhausted.

Too often I forget to give God credit. I don’t know what my life would look like without him, but it wouldn’t be pretty. He has saved me time and time again.

Birthday Boys

This week Big C turned 2 and Little C is 6 months!!

I can’t believe we really have a two year old. The sandbags we had to put up around our house because of floods are still there. We put them up right before we found out we were pregnant.

I’ve been cloth diapering for two years, and nursing for two years, and I’ve successfully kept him alive for two years!

The transition to two kids has definitely not been all peaches and cream. The boys are great and we are so glad to have them close together, but life can get pretty crazy. They have an uncanny knack for needing things at the exact same time. Lately both of us have been getting frustrated pretty easily. The crazy emotions of a two year old and the constant needs of a 6 month old are wearing us out! We would love your prayers for patience and understanding, because we sure need it!

Changes

It’s been a little while. It seems like we are in a period of transition.

I finished Body Back and Power 90.
I’ve lost over 20 lbs.
I am starting to feel like I have gained some control over my eating habits.
Little C is getting ready to start solids.
Big C is turning into a full fledged toddler with all of the ups and downs that come with that.
Big C is being extra clingy and attached – which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.
God is working in some exciting ways that may mean even bigger changes!

I’ve always been a fan of change. When I was little, I loved to rearrange the furniture in my room because I didn’t like things being in the same place for too long. I’m excited to see what the next phase of our lives brings. God has always worked out the details and shown us what he has for us and I know he will continue to do that.

Physical Training

1 Timothy 4:8 “For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.”

This verse has been on my mind for a few days now.

I am finally (finally!) making some head way with my weight and working out. I’m on day 66 of the 90 day Power 90 session and I’m half way through week 6 of Body Back. For the first time in a long time I can genuinely say I am proud of myself. I’m proud of the work I’ve been putting in, the way I’ve been eating, and the results I’m seeing. I have finally built a routine with some consistency and I’ve been able to show restraint around food. I am so thankful for the determination that God has given me to see this through so I can be healthy for me, my family, and God.

However; it’s not enough.

I have wanted to get healthy and be more active for a long time and I am realizing those goals, but you know what? I still don’t feel satisfied. Weighing on my heart these last 3 months has been the fact that I have completely neglected my relationship with God. I resist spending time reading the Bible almost more strongly than I resisted working out. I don’t take time to focus and spend time in prayer. Instead I waste time and energy doing things that I don’t really want to be doing (like watching tv).

I want my life to reflect the man who saved it. I am nothing without Christ. He has blessed me in more ways than I can count and I want to live a life that honors Him. If only one thing in my life is where I want it to be, it needs to be my spiritual life not my physical life. After all my hard work, this is the last thing I want to admit to myself, but it’s true.

Moving forward I have two goals.

1. I can’t undo all the hard work I’ve done. I need to be healthy for my family and God wants me to be healthy too. I know that I can continue to make good choices and I am.
2. God needs to be a priority in my life. No more thanking Him for my blessings and going on with my day. I don’t need to suddenly spend hours studying my Bible, but I do need to take baby steps.

I have always tried to be a Christian who lives like Christ with my words and actions and not just somebody who ‘goes to church.’ It’s time I truly start doing that.

An Incredible Blessing

It’s been a little while since I updated everyone on Little C’s weight gain issues.

At our 4 month appointment, the Dr. said he looked good, but wanted us to continue supplementing him with 2oz of milk a day. I’m not really sure how long she expected/s us to do this, but I’m hoping to schedule another weight check in the next couple of weeks to see if we can stop.

The bad news is that I have officially run out of my own expressed milk. I continue to try to pump, but I get roughly 1/2 an ounce at night before bed and if I pump in the morning I am just stealing it from him; it’s not really a supplement at that point. I can pump 3 oz, but then he doesn’t have those 3oz to drink when he wakes up. I’m not refilling as fast as I would like so it’s not really working.

The good news is that I have an incredible friend! I knew that one of my friends had/has over 400 oz of milk in her freezer and I took the risk and asked if she was willing to share. I know that sounds pretty crazy, but I decided I would rather use breastmilk (from a healthy friend I trust) over formula. In the end if we need formula, that’s fine. I just knew I had a potential source of mama’s milk and I didn’t want to not ask. God is so good, because not only did she say yes and give me 50 0z!!!, but it’s from when her daughter was the same age as Little C. He has had a few bottles now and he didn’t even notice. It is such a blessing that she was able to share and hopefully I can use the time while I have her milk to pump at least some of my own.

Both boys are doing great and they are such a blessing. I am so thankful that God has given us two perfect little boys.

Breaking Through

Body Back is still going great. I had a mini breakthrough this week. Check it out over at Fit Moms Flagstaff!

Financial Peace University is Starting Soon!

After taking Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University last summer, we felt led to lead a class of our own and it’s starting soon. Taking FPU was a life changer. For the first time, we took the things we knew we should be doing, combined with a bunch of new things we learned, and actually DID them. The group setting and class structure helped to keep us accountable. We actually wrote out and followed a budget for the first time. We made the decision to sell a bunch of stuff in order to get out of debt. We are now working on building an emergency fund. It is a totally different experience when you know you have the money to pay your bills and handle life’s hiccups. Throughout our married lives, God has blessed us immensely and I’m disappointed to report that we wasted a lot of it. God calls us to be good stewards with everything he gives us and that definitely includes our money. Now we have hope, and more importantly, a plan. We still mess up and make bad decisions, but we aren’t spending money we don’t have. Cutting up and closing all our credit cards keeps us honest. We actually CAN’T spend money we don’t have. We are responsible for planning and saving for emergencies. February is the 9th month we’ve budgeted through and it’s still a process. We are way faster at it and have a much better idea of what we spend on things, but it still requires dedication. I’m most excited about teaching this class so we can get back some of the intensity we had while paying off debt to help us finish the emergency fund. I don’t need that *thing* now. I need to provide for my family. If you have the opportunity to take FPU, or just read The Total Money Makeover, it can change your future.

Our class starts in two weeks from today! For more information about classes in your area, check out the class finder on Dave’s site.

Patience Pays Off

One of my goals this year is to be more active and to be consistent about working out. In January, Damien and I decided to try out a home workout program and I’m happy to report I’ve made it past day 30!

We took the plunge and bought Power 90. It’s the starter series from BeachBody – the company who does P90X, Insanity, and others. Many of the programs like P90X are geared for athletes and I noticed that many people who start it give up because it is so hard. P90 is geared for people who aren’t in shape, like me. The program includes a sculpting/strength routine and a cardio/abs routine. You are supposed to do each workout 3 times a week for a total of 6 workouts. I am on day 33 and I only missed one day because we were pretty busy and I actually forgot, oops. I can tell I am getting a lot stronger and I have lost an inch or two off my waist and hips, but my weight still wasn’t moving. I’ve been trying to do well with my eating, but I just wasn’t doing enough, so….

I just completed week one of Body Back! Body Back is an awesome program by Stroller Strides. It focuses on high intensity interval training (HIIT) and uses team work and the group to keep us accountable for our diet. I am so excited to be working out with 10 other moms who will push me to be my best. They are just the accountability I need. This week, I finally saw some progress on the scale – just about 5 pounds down! I’ll be blogging about the class, the workouts, the diet, and the teamwork over on the Fit Moms Flagstaff page. Be sure to check out my updates.

And We’re at it Again…

So… After all that we had a not so good third weight check this week. In the past week he has only gained one ounce! I’m not even sure how that happened. He eats constantly, and I definitely feel like there is more milk for him.

In general, I do pretty good about avoiding mommy guilt, but knowing that he’s not getting enough food is tough. He’s a pretty happy kid and I just need to focus on that, but it’s so easy to feel like a failure. I just want the best for him and currently, my body is not cooperating.

Over the next few days I need to focus on pumping and I think I’ll focus on having some more cuddle time with the little one. Let’s see if I can get him to nurse all day and boost my supply that way.

I would appreciate your prayers and encouragement! Thank you for supporting me, even just by reading.